Music for the soul, child!

So, I’m driving yet again at a fevered pitch to get my daughters to school on time and as it usually goes, I’m only half-listening to what drivel is on the radio.  I am an avid fan of the Tom Joyner Morning Show, and listen to it every morning as I make my rounds.  My 11 year old daughter feels that this is "uncool" and would rather listen to the more “hip hop” stations in our area.

On this particular day I am actually early and making good time.  I’m listening to J. Anthony Brown and Sybil Wilkes argue over something asinine and my 11 year old is not stressing about being late for a change.   Both my 11 and 7 year old daughters are singing on the radio and I’m feeling pretty good.  All is right with the world.  As I approach the traffic light that has turned yellow, I actually slow down (as opposed to gunning the accelerator to get through it as I usually do).  Next to me, my daughters continue singing.  At first, I really do not pay any attention to what is being sung, but the words that I hear pique my interest. “Push harder” I hear my eldest daughter singing in her lovely soprano voice (thank God she has a singing voice like her mom rather than yours truly).  Now, as the words finally get to me and I understand what I just heard, I stop to make sure that I am not putting too much emphasis on the words because I have been accused of having a dirty mind (and I confess that I am somewhat guilty of this).  Then I hear my daughter sing the next part of the song, “And when we’re done, I don’t wanna feel my legs; and when we’re done, I just wanna feel your hands all over me baby.”  Oh, no ma’am!  I immediately change the station and my 7 year old starts saying, “Dad, turn it back.”  My 11 year old is aghast and actually says to me (in that way that only a snooty 11 year old can) “They finally play something that I want to hear and you change the station!”  My 7 year old is screaming, “Why did you change it?”  So, I put on my daddy hat and say, “because this song is inappropriate and you don’t need to listen to this song.”  End of discussion...or so I thought.

Now, since my 11 year old has started going to middle school, I am starting to see the smart alecky traits that I exhibited in middle and high School (and some would argue that I still exhibit these traits).  “Dad,” she asks, “Did you turn the station because she’s talking about dancing?”  Now I know full well that my daughter knows exactly what this song is about and is goading me into telling her what the song is really about.  I don’t have a problem speaking frankly with my children, but I did not want to get into a conversation about sex with my 7 year old in the car.  So after a few seconds, I come up with what I think is the perfect daddy response.  “You know good and darn well that this song is not talking about dancing.”  Thankfully, the 7 year old was no longer interested in the conversation and did not ask me (as she usually does), “so what is this song about?”   After my response my oldest daughter laughs and then asks me about the songs that I listened to when dinosaurs ruled the earth and we played these oversized large disc-things called records.  I told her, in my most haughtiest of voices, that our songs had meaning and that we didn’t listen to such trash.

Now remember I told you all earlier that my daughter has turned into more of a smart aleck lately.  Well the next part of this story proves it.  A few weeks later, I am listening to a song that I used to listen to back in the day entitled “Secret Lovers.”  Now, I am not paying any attention to my two daughters at this time, I’m in the zone!  I’m driving and singing at the top of my lungs (albeit off key, but my kids are use to this by now).  Suddenly, I see my daughter’s eyes brighten and her lips curl into a slight grin.  “Dad,” she asks innocently, “What is this song about?”  Oh little girl!  She had me.  I had, just a few weeks earlier, explained to her about how virtuous our music was and how back in the day the songs were about dancing and frolicking and not about sex at all.  Her quick mind took in this song and she knew she had a way to get back at me for the lecture that she had to endure previously.  How do I explain to her that I was really enjoying a song that basically espouses the virtue of cheating in a monogamous relationship?  So I resorted to what usually works for me when I am having a disagreement with her mother…I turned into a child myself and said, “This song still isn’t as bad as the one you were singing the other day.”  The only thing that could have made this response seem more juvenile is if I had stuck my tongue out after I said it.  Now, really people, seriously, as an adult I could have waxed on eloquently about how she was indeed right and that this song, at the very core, was no better than the one that she was singing.  I could have turned this into an expressive dialogue in which two opposing forces meet in the middle and understand each other a little better.  But the dad in me was not going to let my 11 year old daughter win.  So I resorted to the classic line that my dad always used with me that I swore that I would never use when I had children of my own, “I’m grown and you’re not.”  Case closed!  My daughter just looked at me and shrugged.  As I pulled up her school to drop her off, I saw a smile curl around her lips.  She had won this round and she knew it.  Parents take note…if you ever find yourself stooping to the level of your child by quipping childish retorts, such as “I’m grown and you’re not” this is almost akin to saying “I know you are but what am I?”  Neither one of these responses makes you seem like a responsible adult and your children know that once they take you down this road, you have completely lost the argument.  I’m now attempting to collect my “cool points” back because they have been lost in this last altercation.  I’ll let you know in my next post if I got them back.  In the mean time dear reader, always take time to look for the funny.