Picture it! Atlanta, September 10, 2011. A lone, bald, fat, black man is running to his connecting flight and only has 38 minutes in which to do it. No, the man running is not Cee Lo Green, but in fact, that lone, bald, fat, black man is me, and this is my true story. Now, for those of you who have ever traveled to the Atlanta Airport you know that you have to take a train from one concourse to the next (especially if you are on a tight schedule as I was on this particular day).
I arrived in concourse B and had to catch my connecting flight in concourse E; E-24 to be exact. I am running and darting in and out of the human traffic as quickly as my fat, short, stumpy legs can carry me and 21 minutes after departing the plane on which I embarked in Savannah, I finally reach my destination. I run to the gate with my ticket out and ask the nice young woman, who is working the gate, if I have made it in time. She looks at me (I'm all sweaty, out of breath, and on the verge of needing an oxygen mask) and gives me the answer for which I was hoping, "yes sir, you made it." As I go to hand her the ticket, she immediately yells at me...NO! I stop in my tracks because the way my luck was going on this day, I figured that she had some bad news to tell me. She immediately informs me that I have walked on forbidden territory... The special blue carpet that is designated for first class and premium Delta flyers. At this point, I am in total shock. Really lady? Seriously! You are going to stop me, the last customer on the plane, from walking on the blue carpet because I am not a sky miles priority customer? At first, I thought that she was joking, but apparently, I did not move quickly enough because a big burly guy walked over and gave me a mean look.
Now, those of you who know me on a personal level know that I really do have a smart mouth (I blame this on my New York upbringing) and could have gone off on this young woman for days...But those of you who know me also know that I know when to pack it up and take the loss. This was indeed one of those times. Now ladies and gentlemen, I quickly vacated the carpet and went on the plane in the direction that I was told to do so, but this whole situation got me to thinking...what thrill does one get from walking on the carpet? After all, it is not a magic carpet that flies one from one concourse to the next. Nor is it an attractive carpet. In fact, the carpet upon which I trudged that day, was haggard and worn, with bare patches clearly visible. I guess some people just need to feel important. Now this should be the end of the story, but I'm really nosy. I need to know what perks one gets from strutting across this carpet.
Flash forward to September 13, 2011. On my way back to the Savannah Airpot via Atlanta, I decided to put my college minor (journalism) to use and get the story. I ask Sheila, a Delta employee, what is the purpose for this sky miles carpet? She hesitates for only one moment and quickly states "It's to make our return customers feel good." Well, I'm a return customer and I wasn't feeling all that good (but that could have been from all of that creme brulee cheesecake that I had eaten at lunch earlier). She was in a good mood so I asked another question, "Why do you all (Delta employees) get bent out of shape when a person who is deemed unworthy attempts to walk on the carpet" (I'm sure I paraphrased this question, but you get the jist). She tells me "because you haven't earned the right." Oh, Sheila! What can I say to this but thank you for your extreme honesty Sheila.
Now to paraphrase Beyonce, I have a big ego, but if I need a frayed, ugly, thread-bare carpet to make me feel special then I think I have other issues. If you want to make me feel special, genuflect when I walk past; throw rose petals at me feet; ensure that I have my own private bathroom at any airport in which I fly. I can think of many other perks that can make me feel special and in fact, if I were to write a list of the top one thousand things that others can do to make me feel special, walking on that hideous carpet would not make my list. Perhaps a red carpet at the Kodak Theater and an Oscar one day could make me feel special, but not the Delta skymiles carpet. Sorry Delta but I'll just stick to the 2 bags of peanuts and the half a glass of sprite.
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