What's in a name?

Last week I was enjoying a very good dinner in Atlanta, Georgia.  The food was great, my dinner companions were erudite and the conversation was electrifying.  At some point in the conversation the topic turned to strange names that we have run across in our line of work.  The top names that we found to be the most extreme are as follows:

Exhibit A- #1- Twins named Orangejello and Lemonjello- Now, for those of you who can’t see it, the names are actually formed by combining two words and creating a brand new one (Orange Jello and Lemon Jello).  Now keep in mind that I am thinking that these are urban legends, but my companions at the dinner table are assuring me that they know people with these names and have not just “heard” about these names.

Exhibit B- #2- Abcd (pronounced in two ways- either as Ah bee sa dee or Abb sa dee)- Actually a friend of mine in Upstate South Carolina told me that she knew a student with this name so it must be catching on in our nation.

Exhibit C- #3- Shi’thead (This is actual pronounced Sha thade, but if you take out the apostrophe, shift the “t” over  towards the “i” and separate the name into two words after the “t” and before the "h" and you have a whole new name (and probably a fight on your hands should you choose to use this handle).

However, my all time favorite name mentioned comes from the great state of Alabama. The #1 strange name (and Exhibit D - #4) is La-a.  Now I know that many of you are pronouncing this as Lah ah or Lay ay but you would be wrong. The correct pronunciation of this name is…wait for it…Ladasha (La dash ah). Yes folks, you have to pronounce the “dash.”

Really people, seriously?  You actually sat down and came up with these names and thought that these were cute? The sad thing is that many of these names started off as urban legends, but somewhere down the line someone heard it and thought that they would be befitting of their children.

I am all about individualizing a name and making it unique, but in my opinion some names are taken a tad bit too far as you can see in exhibits A through D.  When my wife and I chose to name our children, we wanted to make sure that we were choosing names that our children could live with for the rest of their lives.  I know that my girls will probably one day take on the last name of some “knucklehead” that they meet (although I am attempting to instill in them the desire to hyphenate and keep their original last names), but that first name belongs to them for life (unless they legally change it to something like Lilakoi Moon, which is what Lisa Bonet of “The Cosby Show” fame did).  I know that had my parents chosen to name me Shi’thead, as soon as I was able I would have run my fat behind to court to change my name pronto!

In conclusion, let me say to expecting parents . . . please think about what you are going to name that bundle of joy that God has chosen to bestow upon you.  The name that you give your child will follow him or her  (more than likely) for the rest of their lives and you don’t want to tick them off that early in life.  Remember, that they will probably be responsible for choosing the nursing home that you will reside in for the remainder of your days.  

As always, remember dear reader . . . to always look for the funny.