I remember when Cathy and I first got married we had many family members and close friends asking us constantly, “So when are you going to have kids?” My usual response to this was, “Why would we want some goats?” And yeah, the look that you are giving me reading this response is usually the look that I received from them. When they wouldn’t give up we would respond by saying that we wanted at least three years to ourselves before we started a family. And we stuck to that. In our third year of marriage, we decided that it was time, but fate played a different role. We were given news that it may be extremely difficult to have children and we may need to look at other measures. However, two years after getting this news we were blessed with our first born Camryn (“CC”). Now personally, I was content to have just one child, but Cathy insisted on having a sibling for CC. Since it really was fun working on this particular project, I did not put up much of an argument and four years later our second daughter, Lorin, arrived. Now at this time, both Cathy and I were certain that we were through. But three years later, to our surprise, we found out that we were expecting a third child. (Must have been all of that eggnog during the period of Thanksgiving and Christmas that made us a little bit amorous, but I digress). And in September of 2007, we brought our son Kendall home.
Now Cathy and I love our children, but they can be a bit taxing especially when one of us is out of town and has to do the pick-up and drop-off for three different schools, but I think we have this down. At times, the children can have a smart mouth, but I blame myself for this. I love words and when my kids were extremely young (like still within their first year of life) if you really wanted to tick me off, come up to the child and start talking gibberish baby talk. This would send me through the roof. You know what I’m talking about. People who come up to a baby and in a high pitched voice say asinine things like “oh, coochie coochie, look at the baby, umm goolie goolie.” Really grown people, seriously? I wanted to slap them and I would ask them to stop and speak to the baby in a normal voice because English is our native tongue. I got a few nasty looks, but this is one on which Cathy actually agreed with me. Besides, if my wife and I are standing right there and we have no clue what you are saying, what makes you think that my baby understands that crap that you are espousing? And to this day, no one can ever say that our children do not know how to express themselves and this leads me to this week’s episode . . . starring the baby boy of the family.
One day, Kendall’s uncle called him to say hello. Kendall is somewhat spoiled because on his mother’s side he is the first grandson in her family. They have great grandsons in the family, but he is the first grandson, so his uncle really has a special uncle-nephew bond with him. However, what Kendall’s uncle did not realize was that he chose to call while Dora the Explorer was on, and she (Dora) had just called for the map.(Those of you who have kids who watch Dora know what I’m talking about; those of you who don’t, just trust me when I say kids don’t want to miss this song) Cathy calls to her lone male child (at least I think he’s the only one, who knows for sure) and says “Kendall, Uncle’s on the phone.” Kendall briefly looks at the phone and then looks back at the television. He decides to do a quick phone hello, so he goes to his mom and grabs the phone and quickly says “Hello” and answers three questions with a monotone “Yes” and then quickly hands the phone back to his mom and commences to watch Dora. Cathy then speaks to “Uncle” and I hear her say “oh.” So she says, “Kendall, Uncle wasn’t finished talking to you. He’s still on the phone.” My four year old son, without turning away from the television says, “I cannot be bothered right now.”
There are times when I am extremely upset to witness some of the things that my children say and do, but this was one incident that I was thankful to be around to hear for myself (and even writing this down does not do it justice) because it was so funny to me to hear those words come from a four year old. Now Cathy and I have a rule about not laughing at something funny that one of the children says because we feel that it encourages them to continue the behavior. And we usually tag team to explain to the child why what he or she said was not appropriate, but for this incident Cathy was on her own because I ran into the kitchen and guffawed. If you do not believe that children listen to everything that you say, even when you think they aren’t, this proves it. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard Cathy speaking on the phone and saying those same words or some derivative thereof.
Needless to say, Kendall could not be so bothered and did not go back to the phone. Even Cathy had to laugh at this comment. So dear reader I look forward to sharing with you the next funny episode that occurs with my children. I’m sure the next one will star Lorin. I’m very happy that my children are smart, well adjusted and can communicate well. I am also enjoying them very much, but I am also looking forward to the day (and I hate to even put this print) when they leave the house, get their degrees, get married and have children who act just like them! Goodbye until next time dear reader and remember to always look for the funny.
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